What knowledge have I of your need or desire?
Am I worthy of the chance to bear witness to your undoing?
Do I have the right to call you forth to such pain and torment?
How random it seems to be chosen or not
How Divine to know confusion so strong
The ache is best in the middle of the night and day and morning
The unsurety bleeds over and over again and hope is flushed toward earth
Is time a trickster, a weaver of lies only true when believed?
Hope on a regular basis plays games in the brain and rolls it sideways to look again from back to front
I heal myself over and over, diving into the childlike abyss
I pray, I give up, I release anger to the wind with bitterness anew
Am I a player in this part of the void? Or merely a host in a game show lotto draw?
Answers abound in the infinite spiral of possibility
So many possibilities, dizzy with theory and superstition
So much grace poised on the horizon of a poisoned planet
I don't care if I'm good, only if I am enough
I want to be used, chosen and chosen again to the ends of my being
I resign my glory to the winds of the will and foster the knowing of emptiness for the sake of Wisdom
For the sake of many secrets I leave you on the other side
I leave you every day without loss of love or question
A soul is bigger than a thousand armies of impotence
I will be with my longing
Belonging is not trampled by the space of stars