Sometimes things just kinda suck. They just do.
Sometimes we give in to superstitions - we think that something is "too good to be true", or we "prepare ourselves" for the dark shadows "potentially" lurking around the corner of life. We just do.
Sometimes we make the same mistake over and over. We just do.
Here's the thing - sometimes it is not worth it to fight against all of the "negative" things that come up in our brain.
Yep, I just said that.
but there is an AND.
Maybe you cannot turn off the fears and negativity that are coming up in your brain. Or maybe you can mostly do it, but it takes large reserves of will power and energy and you are tired. So tired.
Here's where the AND comes in. It doesn't always have to be all or nothing. We don't have to be only happy and not sad. Only positive and not negative. Only motivated and not lazy. Only good and not bad. Only decisive and not indecisive... you get my point.
We are human. That means we are so often both. We can often feel motivated AND lazy, happy AND sad, good AND bad.
So what's my point?
What the hell does that mean?
There is a difference between what you are watching and what you are investing in.
Here's an example:
I like to come back over and over again to, "All things work together for good." I use it as a motto, I come back to it, it is a mantra, a prayer, a staple. Sometimes my brain believes it, sometimes it doesn't. My spirit believes it. My brain gets unruly and goes off on a tangent, or travels into places that I sometimes wonder if it can even come back from, or it spins into a tailspin, or gets stuck in the quicksand of fear. Sometimes that just happens. It does.
The thing that I have come to practice though, is just watching. Watching where I can, my own process, watching my fear, watching my negativity, watching my pain, watching my drama, watching...
Practicing just watching without trying to immediately "change" the way my brain is thinking then allows me to make an investment. A small choice in the direction that my spirit says it needs to go despite what my brain is thinking. It might go something like this, (though not necessarily this linear, but for the sake of writing a blog that a reader can follow... you get my point.)
so it might go something like this...
Higher brain: (I will call the Higher Self, surrendered, non-ego, spirit part of my brain, the Higher brain and the lower, ego based, less flexible part of my brain- which also has a good purpose by the way, and a whole 'nother blog post - the Lower brain. Whatever you want to call them that works for you, go for it.) so...
Higher Brain: "All things work together for good."
Lower brain: Bull shit. This sucks, I don't know if I can do it. I don't feel good anyway, and why can't things just be easier, and what is with all of this challenge anyway? You always say that all things work together for good, but this isn't good, so why keep saying that? And what if it gets worse anyway... and...and... and on and on. *Phew*
The Lower brain can be quite a handful sometimes.
Higher brain: Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmmm. Isn't that interesting.
Lower brain: Wah, waaah, wah, waah, wah, wahhhh.... (Just like the teacher in Charlie Brown.)
The Lower brain just keeps churning out its "stuff".
*Silent* ...just watching.
The Higher brain has been practicing just watching the lower brain, not trying to change it, not trying to argue with it, not trying to soothe it, not trying to compete with it... just allowing it to do its thing.
Meanwhile it is making a choice in its next investment.
Higher brain: "There you are saying the same thing over and over again Lower brain. How funny you are. Actually quite predictable you know. So here's the investment I am going to make and keep making,
ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD."
(Now for you this could come in a different form or forms. The above is simply an example. It could be a motto, mantra, prayer, meditation, or simply just a higher thought.) The idea is that you are not spending an exorbitant amount of energy in trying to get rid of the lower thought, merely that you are making an investment in something else. You are allowing the energy to go to the AND... My lower brain is going off on a tangent AND I am making an investment in this motto, this journey to who want to be.
The idea on this journey to who you want to be is that you keep driving the car down the road with Lower brain chatting away in the back seat. If you always stop the car to try and get Lower brain to shut up, you are getting no where fast. If you always let lower brain drive... well who KNOWS where that goes, and if you are always investing in trying to soothe Lower brain's fears, there is little investment left for anything else.
So, what will the investment be? You get to choose.
And I bet with a little practice, pretty soon even Lower brain will want to be along for the ride...