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Impending Bloom...

Calling To The Lights

2/16/2017

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What gift can I give that is big enough for your consideration?
What knowledge have I of your need or desire?
Am I worthy of the chance to bear witness to your undoing? 
Do I have the right to call you forth to such pain and torment?
How random it seems to be chosen or not
How Divine to know confusion so strong
The ache is best in the middle of the night and day and morning
The unsurety bleeds over and over again and hope is flushed toward earth
Is time a trickster, a weaver of lies only true when believed?
So hope?
Hope on a regular basis plays games in the brain and rolls it sideways to look again from back to front
I heal myself over and over, diving into the childlike abyss
I pray, I give up, I release anger to the wind with bitterness anew
Am I a player in this part of the void? Or merely a host in a game show lotto draw?
Answers abound in the infinite spiral of possibility
So many possibilities, dizzy with theory and superstition
So much grace poised on the horizon of a poisoned planet
I don't care if I'm good, only if I am enough
I want to be used, chosen and chosen again to the ends of my being
I resign my glory to the winds of the will and foster the knowing of emptiness for the sake of Wisdom
For the sake of many secrets I leave you on the other side 
I leave you every day without loss of love or question
A soul is bigger than a thousand armies of impotence
I will be with my longing
Belonging is not trampled by the space of stars

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Devil Looked IN The Mirror

2/10/2017

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​Chew them up and swallow 
Whole swarms draw their lines
In the sand live the dreaded beasts of the unknown 
Sickly words turn yellow
Belly full of ache in dim caverns
Crumble beneath heavy lies flailing in the shallows 
Throwing hatred like pie 
Chart the unknown course of action
Plan in adherence to faith in fear
Snakes manipulate tongues
Forked roads that slip sideways downhill
Slope right on venom soaked gardens of earth
Damp thoughts sprayed 
Down all equal deeds as indoctrination
Nation stands slumped over in acute unconsciousness
Derived from hard stone
Caves of unschooled fish troll the dark
Hearts closed shut like the boarders of quarantined houses
Filled with old whoa
Horse whipped into fatal gallop
Pull up just as the Devil looked in the mirror and saw us

#NowWakeUp

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Welcome Home

2/10/2017

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Eyes shine bright
Tears tearing through warm flesh
Many bones quaking with fresh hells

Ivory towers tarnished orange
Walls made of fear in mind and heart
Deceiving through guise of allegiant safety


Nothing compares, no thing
To home we pledge, though yearn
As freedom spreads her wings to call us forth

All rise with promises anew 
Weep with home sickness juxtaposed
Gratitude wells with possibilities, derision abides

Hope stays short sighted
Drive the grind as always lean to work
Diligent beyond the scope of skin and privilege

Enough is bondage
Brains see deeper pits and higher walls
With every collected penny scarcity rises and floats

Bondage free
Though fetter may rankle and pester 
Through the impossible voices freedom rings

Stronger en masse
Even inside always outside, always us
We are you are me are them are mirrored and tarnished

Hate claims duty
Shadow darkest at noon the sun shines
Love rises, takes her place amongst broken hearts

Welcome to the hearth
Belonging severs separation dissolving division
Blessed are the oppressed, for theirs is a place called Home 
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Saving The World

1/23/2017

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Your creativity, your art, is essential to saving the world...

Yes, I just said "saving the world".
Creativity is the expression of our larger self - our spirit. Artists are our innovators.

"Innovation: the action or process of innovating. Synonyms: change, alteration, revolution, upheaval, transformation, metamorphosis, breakthrough; new measures, new methods, modernization, novelty, newness; creativity, originality, ingenuity, inspiration, inventiveness; informal shake up"

Artists think beyond what we are and into what we can be. Creators don't stop at the answers, they know that answers only lead to bigger questions. How do your choices, your purchases, your desires, effect the world? What if you were to see each choice as a brush stroke, each purchase as a sentence, each desire expressed as a note?
We are creating every day. Our choices are making change for either positive or negative impact. We are powerful. We... ...you... are an artist creating y/our world. Treat each of your pieces of art more like children and you will be less likely to judge yourself harshly. What comes through you is part of the beautiful process called creation. Instead of holding yourself "responsible" for something "good or bad", hold yourself relational to that which is always in the process of becoming. Whether you are parenting the art coming through you, or as a child just learning through the process of creation, both lend themselves to compassion, non-judgement, and seeing the bigger picture of process when it comes to what you are creating.


Think your creativity is not worth your time? Creativity is a political act, a feminist act, a spiritual act. Why? Because what we see in our future begins with what we can imagine and formulate NOW. Acts of art, and creation are the precursors to what will become. They are the messengers that herald the future. Creative expression is the forerunner of a new life, a new world - the rendering, the sketch, the layout of that which we want to see. What we value we give our time to. Time and energy will eventually manifest, though it may not materialize exactly as we envision, and the act of investment matters. Investing in our creativity challenges the patriarchal norm. It validates the yearning to live in a world where humans are creators, not just creators of money and distractions, but of the Divine. And that's what art and creation are; a blueprint of Divine design. Begin to acknowledge and prioritize more of what you want to see and experience in the world through the expression of your deep imagination. Art in ALL of its forms is humanity expressed.

​The best art allows us to see our multiple selves in it. Artists are the radical voice of civilization. Creators are the expression of feminine power. Permission to be an artist... In whatever manifestation that takes. Power is the ability to create.

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The Investment

7/26/2014

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Sometimes fears come up. They just do.
Sometimes things just kinda suck. They just do.
Sometimes we give in to superstitions - we think that something is "too good to be true", or we "prepare ourselves" for the dark shadows "potentially" lurking around the corner of life. We just do.
Sometimes we make the same mistake over and over. We just do. 

Here's the thing - sometimes it is not worth it to fight against all of the "negative" things that come up in our brain. 
Yep, I just said that.
BUT...
 but there is an AND.

Maybe you cannot turn off the fears and negativity that are coming up in your brain. Or maybe you can mostly do it, but it takes large reserves of will power and energy and you are tired. So tired.

Here's where the AND comes in. It doesn't always have to be all or nothing. We don't have to be only happy and not sad. Only positive and not negative. Only motivated and not lazy. Only good and not bad. Only decisive and not indecisive... you get my point. 
We are human. That means we are so often both. We can often feel motivated AND lazy, happy AND sad, good AND bad. 
So what's my point?
The investment.
What the hell does that mean?

There is a difference between what you are watching and what you are investing in.
Here's an example:
I like to come back over and over again to, "All things work together for good." I use it as a motto, I come back to it, it is a mantra, a prayer, a staple. Sometimes my brain believes it, sometimes it doesn't. My spirit believes it. My brain gets unruly and goes off on a tangent, or travels into places that I sometimes wonder if it can even come back from, or it spins into a tailspin, or gets stuck in the quicksand of fear. Sometimes that just happens. It does.

The thing that I have come to practice though, is just watching. Watching where I can, my own process, watching my fear, watching my negativity, watching my pain, watching my drama, watching... 
Practicing just watching without trying to immediately "change" the way my brain is thinking then allows me to make an investment. A small choice in the direction that my spirit says it needs to go despite what my brain is thinking. It might go something like this, (though not necessarily this linear, but for the sake of writing a blog that a reader can follow... you get my point.) 
so it might go something like this...

Higher brain: (I will call the Higher Self, surrendered, non-ego, spirit  part of my brain, the Higher brain and the lower, ego based, less flexible part of my brain- which also has a good purpose by the way, and a whole 'nother blog post - the Lower brain. Whatever you want to call them that works for you, go for it.) so...

Higher Brain: "All things work together for good."
Lower brain: Bull shit. This sucks, I don't know if I can do it. I don't feel good anyway, and why can't things just be easier, and what is with all of this challenge anyway? You always say that all things work together for good, but this isn't good, so why keep saying that? And what if it gets worse anyway... and...and... and on and on. *Phew* 
The Lower brain can be quite a handful sometimes.
Higher brain: Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmmm. Isn't that interesting.
Lower brain: Wah, waaah, wah, waah, wah, wahhhh.... (Just like the teacher in Charlie Brown.) 
The Lower brain just keeps churning out its "stuff".  
Higher brain: 
*Silent* ...just watching. 
The Higher brain has been practicing just watching the lower brain, not trying to change it, not trying to argue with it, not trying to soothe it, not trying to compete with it... just allowing it to do its thing.
Meanwhile it is making a choice in its next investment.
Higher brain: "There you are saying the same thing over and over again Lower brain. How funny you are. Actually quite predictable you know. So here's the investment I am going to make and keep making,
ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD."  

(Now for you this could come in a different form or forms. The above is simply an example. It could be a motto, mantra, prayer, meditation, or simply just a higher thought.) The idea is that you are not spending an exorbitant amount of energy in trying to get rid of the lower thought, merely that you are making an investment in something else. You are allowing the energy to go to the AND... My lower brain is going off on a tangent AND I am making an investment in this motto, this journey to who want to be. 

The idea on this journey to who you want to be is that you keep driving the car down the road with Lower brain chatting away in the back seat. If you always stop the car to try and get Lower brain to shut up, you are getting no where fast. If you always let lower brain drive... well who KNOWS where that goes, and if you are always investing in trying to soothe Lower brain's fears, there is little investment left for anything else.

So, what will the investment be? You get to choose.
And I bet with a little practice, pretty soon even Lower brain will want to be along for the ride...
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Baby Steps

7/25/2014

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Here I am. Starting over again. 
Can you relate? 
Re-doing your website.
Re-doing your blog.
Posting on social media, stopping, getting side tracked, letting "life" get in the way, starting, stopping.
Starting-stopping-starting-stopping-starting-stopping.
If you are the type of person who knows what they want, sets a goal, follows the steps, and "wa-la!" you are there and on to the next goal... yeah you. 
No really, I realize that was said a little flatly, but I am happy for you - truly, that is awesome, as long as you feel it in the depths of your soul and you are happy where you are going, that is awesome.

But for many of us, the process is messy. It is messy and frustrating and exhilarating and much like birthing and raising a child - try using a predetermined, mono step, linear method to raising a kid. 
*Snort* 

So, here I am.
Starting over again.
Or maybe it isn't "starting over" but more like "still in the process". Just a different part of the process. 
At least I can say I haven't given up. It seems forever ago that I birthed Luminous Universe, but maybe it was actually just gestating. Maybe I am at that point where you feel like you have been pregnant forever. Maybe now is actually the birthing period. Who knows. All I know is that I am choosing to continue...
baby steps.
More baby steps.
Baby steps.

Partners, family, friends... birthing and raising a child requires a whole community of people. And so, I am reaching out. Asking for support, asking for answerability (I like that word better than accountability... I'd rather answer than account, just sayin'), asking for a hand in raising Luminous Universe or at least a raised hand to Luminous Universe.

Not that LU isn't its own. It is. Just like my son was very much his own, even at a very young age. He knew himself. He knew who he was, and for the most part, what he needed. It was my job to listen. To listen and provide support in what he needed, what he needed to bring forth the creation that was himself. For a while I posted this sign on his bedroom door, "Agreement is not necessary, thinking for oneself is." He is a thinker for sure, but that is another blog post.
So it is with LU.
I am here to listen, to facilitate, to support, to allow it to be what it IS. Mostly I am here as a conduit, and mostly I need those who are interested in being in my community to keep whispering to me...
"Baby steps."
(and LU will do the same for you.)

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    I'm Rae... welcome to Luminous Universe!

    "I will not die an unlived life.
    I will not live in fear
    of falling or catching fire.

    I choose to inhabit my days,
    to allow my living to open me,
    to make me less afraid,
    more accessible,
    to loosen my heart
    until it becomes a wing,
    a torch, a promise.
    I choose to risk my significance,
    to live so that which came to me as seed
    goes to the next as blossom,
    and that which came to me as blossom,
    goes on as fruit."
    -Dawna Markova
    .

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